What is stress?
Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. When you sense danger—whether it’s real or imagined—the body’s defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction or the “stress response.”
The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life—giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid a car accident.
Stress can have other positive aspects, sometimes referred to as “eustress.” For example, it can help you rise to meet challenges such as keeping you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpening your concentration when you’re attempting a game-winning free throw, or driving you to study for an exam when you’d rather be watching TV.
But while not all stress is bad for you, beyond a certain point, it stops being helpful and starts to cause major damage. Stress that feels overwhelming can have a negative impact on your health, mood, productivity, relationships, and your quality of life.
If you frequently find yourself feeling frazzled and overwhelmed, it’s time to take action to bring your nervous system back into balance. You can protect yourself—and improve how you think and feel—by learning how to recognize the signs and symptoms of chronic stress and taking steps to reduce its harmful effects.
How stress works: The stress response
When you feel threatened or in danger, your body’s stress or “fight or flight” response is automatically triggered. Your nervous system releases a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, which rouse the body for emergency action.
Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and your senses become sharper. These physical changes increase your strength and stamina, speed up your reaction time, and enhance your focus—preparing you to either fight or flee from the danger at hand.
Stress doesn’t always look stressful
Psychologist Connie Lillas uses a driving analogy to describe the three most common ways people respond when they’re overwhelmed by stress:
Foot on the gas. An angry, agitated, or “fight” stress response. You’re heated, keyed up, overly emotional, and unable to sit still.
Foot on the brake. A withdrawn, depressed, or “flight” stress response. You shut down, pull away, space out, and show very little energy or emotion.
Foot on both. A tense or “freeze” stress response. You become frozen under pressure and can’t do anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you’re extremely agitated.
Eustress vs. distress
It can be helpful to think of stress as being on a spectrum. At one end, you have “eustress” or positive stress, the manageable levels of stress that can motivate you to meet challenges at work, school, or in your personal life. While eustress may take you out of your comfort zone, it can help you to meet the challenge of a job interview or first date, for example, or complete a project at school or work that means stretching yourself and learning new skills.
At the other end of the spectrum, you have “distress,” the stress that makes you feel overwhelmed. This negative stress can damage your mood and outlook, disrupt your sleep, and trigger health issues such as depression and anxiety. Distress occurs when you feel you’re under more stress than you can handle, whether it’s from feeling too busy at work, not having enough money, or suffering an illness or bereavement.
Everyone experiences stress differently
Your individual perception of stress can also affect whether you experience positive eustress or negative distress in a situation. For example, if an impending work deadline leaves you feeling worried, exhausted, and overwhelmed by, you’ll likely experience distress. On the other hand, if you the same impending deadline makes you feel excited about the positive affect it could have on your career, then stress you experience is more likely to be eustress, motivating and helpful.
Similarly, something that’s stressful for one person may not faze someone else; they may even enjoy it. While some of us are terrified of getting up in front of people to speak, for example, others live for the spotlight. And while you may enjoy helping to care for your elderly parents, your siblings may find the demands of caretaking overwhelming and stressful.
How stress can make you sick
Your nervous system isn’t very good at distinguishing between emotional and physical threats. If you’re super stressed over an argument with a friend, a work deadline, or a mountain of bills, your body can react just as strongly as if you’re facing a true life-or-death situation. And the more your emergency stress system is activated, the easier it becomes to trigger, making it harder to shut off.
If you tend to get stressed out frequently, like many of us in today’s demanding world, your body may exist in a heightened state of stress most of the time. And that can lead to serious health problems. Chronic stress disrupts nearly every system in your body. It can suppress your immune system, upset your digestive and reproductive systems, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, and speed up the aging process. It can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
Health problems caused or exacerbated by stress include:
- Depression and anxiety.
- Pain of any kind.
- Sleep problems, such as insomnia.
- Autoimmune diseases.
- Digestive problems.
- Skin conditions, such as eczema, stress rash, or hives.
- Heart disease and high blood pressure.
- Weight problems.
- Reproductive issues.
- Thinking and memory problems.
Signs and symptoms of chronic stress
When you’re stressed out, the hormones produced by your body in a stressful situation can trigger a variety of physical and emotional responses.
- You may feel sick or dizzy, anxious, worried, or nervous, or become tense, angry, short-tempered, or even despairing.
- Physically, you may react by sweating excessively, experiencing muscle aches, chest pains, blurred eyesight, or itchy skin.
But many symptoms of stress can be less immediately noticeable. That’s because the most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. In fact, many of us simply get used to it. After a while, feeling constantly stressed can start to feel familiar, even normal. You don’t notice how much it’s affecting you, even as it takes a heavy toll on your health and well-being.
That’s why it’s important to be aware of the common symptoms of excessive stress. These include:
- Memory problems.
- Inability to concentrate.
- Poor judgment.
- Seeing only the negative.
- Anxious or racing thoughts.
- Constant worrying.
- Depression or general unhappiness.
- Anxiety and agitation.
- Moodiness, irritability, or anger.
- Feeling overwhelmed.
- Loneliness and isolation.
- Other mental or emotional health problems.
- Aches and pains.
- Diarrhea or constipation.
- Nausea, dizziness.
- Chest pain, rapid heart rate.
- Loss of sex drive.
- Frequent colds or flu.
- Eating more or less.
- Sleeping too much or too little.
- Withdrawing from others.
- Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities.
- Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax.
- Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing).
Is it stress or anxiety?
Stress and anxiety are closely connected. They share many similar symptoms, such as muscle tension, moodiness, and sleep, concentration, and digestive problems. In fact, overwhelming stress can even lead to anxiety and panic attacks.
However, stress is often caused by a specific trigger or “stressor,” such as work pressure, a break-up, or financial problems. Once the circumstances change, the stress usually starts to ease up.
An anxiety disorder, on the other hand, doesn’t necessarily have a specific trigger and the feelings of unease often remain even when the circumstances have changed and the stressor is resolved.
Causes of stress
The situations and pressures that cause stress are known as stressors. We usually think of stressors as being negative, such as an exhausting work schedule or a rocky relationship. However, anything that puts high demands on you can be stressful. This includes positive events such as getting married, buying a house, going to college, or receiving a promotion.
Of course, not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be internal or self-generated, when you worry excessively about something that may or may not happen, or have irrational, pessimistic thoughts about life.
Finally, what causes stress depends, at least in part, on your perception of it. Something that’s stressful to you may not faze someone else; they may even enjoy it. While some of us are terrified of getting up in front of people to perform or speak, for example, others live for the spotlight. Where one person thrives under pressure and performs best in the face of a tight deadline, another will shut down when work demands escalate. And while you may enjoy helping to care for your elderly parents, your siblings may find the demands of caretaking overwhelming and stressful.
Common external causes of stress include:
- Major life changes.
- Work or school problems.
- Relationship difficulties.
- Financial troubles.
- Being too busy.
- Children and family.
Common internal causes of stress include:
- Pessimism, a negative outlook on life.
- Inability to accept uncertainty.
- Rigid thinking, lack of flexibility.
- Negative self-talk.
- Unrealistic expectations/perfectionism.
- All-or-nothing attitude.
Top 10 stressful life events
According to the widely validated Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, these are the top ten stressful life events for adults that can contribute to illness:
- Death of a spouse
- Marriage separation
- Death of a close family member
- Injury or illness
- Job loss
- Marriage reconciliation
What’s stressful for you?
Whatever event or situation is stressing you out, there are ways of coping with the problem and regaining your balance. Some of life’s most common sources of stress include:
Stress at work
While some workplace stress is normal, excessive stress can interfere with your productivity and performance, impact your physical and emotional health, and affect your relationships and home life. It can even determine the difference between success and failure on the job. Whatever your ambitions or work demands, there are steps you can take to protect yourself from the damaging effects of stress, improve your job satisfaction, and bolster your well-being in and out of the workplace.
Job loss and unemployment stress
Losing a job is one of life’s most stressful experiences. It’s normal to feel angry, hurt, or depressed, grieve for all that you’ve lost, or feel anxious about what the future holds. Job loss and unemployment involves a lot of change all at once, which can rock your sense of purpose and self-esteem. While the stress can seem overwhelming, there are many steps you can take to come out of this difficult period stronger, more resilient, and with a renewed sense of purpose.
Many of us, from all over the world and from all walks of life, are having to deal with financial stress and uncertainty at this difficult time. Whether your problems stem from a loss of work, escalating debt, unexpected expenses, or a combination of factors, financial worry is one of the most common stressors in modern life. But there are ways to get through these tough economic times, ease stress and anxiety, and regain control of your finances.
No matter how much you’ve been looking forward to it, retiring from work can bring stress as well as benefits. Escaping the daily grind and a long commute can seem like a great relief at first. But after a few months you may miss the sense of identity, meaning, and purpose that came with work, the structure it gave your days, and the social aspect of having co-workers. To help you through the stress of retirement, there are healthy ways to make adjustments and deal with this major life change.
The demands of caregiving can be overwhelming, especially if you feel that you’re in over your head or have little control over the situation. If the stress of caregiving is left unchecked, it can take a toll on your health, relationships, and state of mind — eventually leading to burnout. However, there are plenty of things you can do to rein in the stress of caregiving and regain a sense of balance, joy, and hope in your life.
Grief and loss
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest stressors. Often, the pain and stress of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and move on with your life.
How much stress is too much?
Because of the widespread damage stress can cause, it’s important to know your own limit. But just how much stress is “too much” differs from person to person. Some people seem to be able to roll with life’s punches, while others tend to crumble in the face of small obstacles or frustrations. Some people even thrive on the excitement of a high-stress lifestyle.
Factors that influence your stress tolerance level include:
Your support network. A strong network of supportive friends and family members is an enormous buffer against stress. When you have people you can count on, life’s pressures don’t seem as overwhelming. On the flip side, the lonelier and more isolated you are, the greater your risk of succumbing to stress.
Your sense of control. If you have confidence in yourself and your ability to influence events and persevere through challenges, it’s easier to take stress in stride. On the other hand, if you believe that you have little control over your life—that you’re at the mercy of your environment and circumstances—stress is more likely to knock you off course.
Your attitude and outlook. The way you look at life and its inevitable challenges makes a huge difference in your ability to handle stress. If you’re generally hopeful and optimistic, you’ll be less vulnerable. Stress-hardy people tend to embrace challenges, have a stronger sense of humor, believe in a higher purpose, and accept change as an inevitable part of life.
Your ability to deal with your emotions. If you don’t know how to calm and soothe yourself when you’re feeling sad, angry, or troubled, you’re more likely to become stressed and agitated. Having the ability to identify and deal appropriately with your emotions can increase your tolerance to stress and help you bounce back from adversity.
Your knowledge and preparation. The more you know about a stressful situation, including how long it will last and what to expect, the easier it is to cope. For example, if you go into surgery with a realistic picture of what to expect post-op, a painful recovery will be less stressful than if you were expecting to bounce back immediately.
How well do you handle stress in your life?
Ask yourself which of these statements apply to you:
- I have people I confide in when I’m feeling under pressure who make me feel better.
- I feel comfortable expressing how I feel when something is bothering me.
- In general, I feel in control of my life and confident in my ability to handle what comes my way.
- I find reasons to laugh and feel grateful, even when going through difficulties.
- No matter how busy I am, I make it a priority to sleep, exercise, and eat right.
- I’m able to calm myself down when I start to feel overwhelmed.
Each “yes” answer represents an important stress coping skill. Each “no” represents an area to work on to better deal with stress and become more resilient.
Improving your ability to handle stress
Improving how well you handle stress means building your resilience. The more resilient you are, the better you’re able to not just tolerate stress, but also cope with uncertainty and adversity, and rebound from setbacks in life.
Resilience isn’t a quality that you’re either born with or not. Rather, it’s something that you can learn to build over time.
Building resilience can help you to:
- Stay focused and productive in stressful circumstances.
- Improve how well you communicate under pressure.
- Feel more confident when facing hardships, setbacks, or uncertainty.
- Maintain control of your emotions when you’re stressed out—even strong ones like anger or despair.
Tips to relieve stress and build resilience
Get moving. Upping your activity level is one tactic you can employ right now to help relieve stress and start to feel better. Regular exercise can lift your mood and serve as a distraction from worries, allowing you to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that feed stress. Rhythmic exercises such as walking, running, swimming, and dancing are particularly effective, especially if you exercise mindfully (focusing your attention on the physical sensations you experience as you move).
Connect to others. The simple act of talking face-to-face with another human can trigger hormones that relieve stress when you’re feeling agitated or insecure. Even just a brief exchange of kind words or a friendly look from another human being can help calm and soothe your nervous system. So, spend time with people who improve your mood and don’t let your responsibilities keep you from having a social life. If you don’t have any close relationships, or your relationships are the source of your stress, make it a priority to build stronger and more satisfying connections.
Engage your senses. Another fast way to relieve stress is by engaging one or more of your senses—sight, sound, taste, smell, touch, or movement. The key is to find the sensory input that works for you. Does listening to an uplifting song make you feel calm? Or smelling ground coffee? Or maybe petting an animal works quickly to make you feel centered? Everyone responds to sensory input a little differently, so experiment to find what works best for you.
Learn to relax. You can’t completely eliminate stress from your life, but you can control how much it affects you. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the polar opposite of the stress response. When practiced regularly, these activities can reduce your everyday stress levels and boost feelings of joy and serenity. They also increase your ability to stay calm and collected under pressure.
Eat a healthy diet. The food you eat can improve or worsen your mood and affect your ability to cope with life’s stressors. Eating a diet full of processed and convenience food, refined carbohydrates, and sugary snacks can worsen symptoms of stress, while a diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, high-quality protein, and omega-3 fatty acids, can help you better cope with life’s ups and downs.
Get your rest. Feeling tired can increase stress by causing you to think irrationally. At the same time, chronic stress can disrupt your sleep. Whether you’re having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep at night, there are plenty of ways to improve your sleep so you feel less stressed and more productive and emotionally balanced.
Last updated or reviewed on April 5, 2023